The Line // A Step into Chaos

‘The Line’ is a journal of reflections which detail moments, thoughts and feelings throughout various points in my life. You can read the previous posts under Lifestyle.

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I think it’s important to reflect on the week, specifically your week – as it is good for your mental health and it makes you feel more appreciative of the little things in life. So I have decided to create a new series on my blog called – The Line.

I know what you’re thinking; why would you call it The Line? It’s such a weird name. Well it’s actually quite simple, because your life follows the direction of a line. I do not mean a continuously straight line; but a line with lots of curves, ups and downs, and highs and lows. Your line will always continue no matter what happens – because YOU will persevere, and live the life you want to live. It will only stop, when it’s time to stop. So with that being said, The Line is basically a reflection– representing the major events, my favourite things, thought-provoking quotes and what I’ve learnt throughout the week.

I will try and post one of these reflections weekly, however, there is an emphasis on the try because I have school and other commitments to attend to. I am being completely honest when I say this, but I really do wish I could post more regularly!

So speaking of school, as we are getting more into the term, most of us are literally swamped with assessment. Not even joking! I have a biology report draft, maths assignment, English plan and accounting test all due on Monday. And since everyone is stressed, it makes everyone else feel stressed. In order to get through this week, there have been A LOT of late nights.

For me personally, I’m very organised and get assignments done early (I know – I sound very arrogant at the moment. Sorry) but somehow the stress keeps haunting you. It’s a little funny actually, the feeling of stress and worrying, because – when you’re not worrying; it makes you feel worried since you should be worrying. So it continues in a loop, essentially. Okay, that probably didn’t make any sense, and you might have re-read it a few times which is absolutely fine. But I hope you see why stress is such a terribly funny feeling.

It has truly been an overwhelming week and there were moments where you felt alone in this big world. You started to ask yourself – is it worth it? What’s the point of doing it? What am I even doing?  I wish time wasn’t wasted getting stressed as life’s too short to be stressed.

I don’t even understand why we get stressed; so I guess as human beings, it’s an essential trait in all of us. Everyone receives it at a certain point in time at different levels. But that moment when you hand in your assignment or complete that test; is sometimes one of the best feelings. Although, the thing which frightens me the most – is that the scariest part of stress has yet to come (grade 12 still awaits us).

When I go through tough times, I usually count the days until it’s over. And I shouldn’t be doing this; as I need to take on-board the quote by Muhammad Ali – “Don’t count the days, make the days count”. In fact, I hope you keep it in mind as well.

Throughout this week, one of my favourite songs has been Wild Things by Alessia Cara.

When I say I don’t know a thing about music – I really don’t. I can’t sing nor can I play an instrument, but I CAN listen to music and decide whether I like it or not. And yes, I do like this song because the unique rhythm or beat or whatever you call it; is pretty good in my opinion. Wild Things is definitely a bit wild – in a good way which makes it spectacular to listen to. I could never get sick of hearing it. And guess what makes the song even better?! It follows my beliefs of embracing who you are instead of trying to conform to what’s “cool”.

The unique rhythm wasn’t the only thing that had me hooked – it was the narration at the beginning of the music video. I don’t know why I love the song so much; yet somehow I have a connection to it and it’s indescribable.

Wild Things has been definitely motivated me this week, as well as the people at school who always manage to make you laugh – no matter the situation. Honestly, sometimes you don’t even feel like going to school (we all have these days), but the thing which makes me love it so much… is the memories you create when you’re living in the moment surrounded by friends, and the stress is simply part of the moment.

One of my friends sent me a picture of a sunset, and it honestly made my day. I couldn’t stop smiling as it made me feel genuinely happy that I’m inspiring people to notice their surroundings, so thankyou if you’re reading this.

I also chased my own sunrise on Friday morning; and I was running up a hill so I could take a photo of it before I missed it. Because if you blink, the beautiful orange clouds might not be there anymore, and the sunrise wouldn’t look the same. I posted the photos on Instagram and it can be seen down below, but the images do not reflect the true beauty of the sunrise – as you need to experience it in real life. So much so, the chase was a very riveting experience and it was definitely worth the exercise.

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Just a few weeks ago, one of my favourite YouTubers uploaded a video about chasing your dreams and living fully. It’s called “Everyone dies, but not everyone lives” by Prince Ea. I really don’t need to explain it, just watch it and let yourself feel the meaning of his words. He is such a radical guy and if you say he’s inspiring – it is truly an understatement. He changed the way I’ve looked at things, and looked at life, especially this week.

Now that we are on the topic of future and dreams; at school we received a careers talk about subjects to choose for grade 11 and 12. They mentioned how it will influence your OP (Overall Position – in case you didn’t know or you’re not from Australia. It’s a rank used for selection into university/college). As well as; how your OP will influence your future.

All of a sudden I felt a certain pressure. A feeling of being scared – scared in a way I have never felt before. They say to choose subjects you enjoy and the ones you’re good at, but what if you don’t enjoy them and you’re not good at any them. I guess you have go with it and put up with it.

There are some people who know exactly what they want to do when they’re older. Some even want to study in the U.K and the U.S; which is truly great and I feel happy for them.

A couple weeks ago, my dad told me the first university was established during the year 859 in Morocco. This seems absolutely crazy to me; because humans have been going, in some form or another, to a university for over 1000 years!!! We’ve been teaching generations to grow up the same way we do – go to school, go to university and create a stable life. I’m not saying that there is an issue with the way we do things, but it seems as though the money, the income we earn, is more important than doing what we enjoy.

So these subjects we chose – what if I chose Art or Ancient History or Physics? What if I wish there was home economics? What if I don’t want to do these at all?

It has me lost. I don’t know what I want to do. I do believe in following my dreams. I do believe in creating a life I will enjoy – even though I may not be the richest doing what I love, but at least I will be the happiest. What if I don’t enjoy a life that gets me a steady income?

There are so many people out there who don’t even have an education. So it makes me feel grateful to have the opportunity and privilege to go to school. To have all these choices. Why does it feel like such a big deal? Why are we talking about the future when we should be living in the present? What if I want to keep blogging my entire life? And again, why do we worry so much?

This is currently how I am feeling, so it might change later on. If I continue this blog and if you continue reading it – you might be able to follow my journey and have a glimpse at the choices I make. That’s one of the many reasons why I started The Line – as I will be able to look back on this reflection and see how I was feeling when I was 15 years old.

To end with; I have finally created my life motto that encompasses some of the things I’ve learnt this week. It will also change as I learn and grow more –

In order to live fully you must be and embrace who you are. You never know how long you’re going to get – so don’t waste your time regretting your actions, instead live in the moment. Follow your heart and follow your dreams, even if it means disobeying others or the social norms. Accept the world for what it is – a place that is perfectly imperfect yet breathtakingly beautiful. Be thankful that you’re here on this planet, because that is a miracle within itself. You only get one chance to live. So it’s important to let go, be free and to not be afraid. After all, the biggest journey in life is the one of discovering yourself. 

The picture at the top of this post is one of Brisbane’s amazing bridges – it’s called the Kurilpa Bridge. So why did I chose this image? Because this week I’ve learnt to build a bridge and get over it. Do not regret you’re actions; learn from them and move on. Do not say “I should have done this…” or “We could have done that…”; because it’s over and you can’t magically time travel into the past, in order to fix your mistakes. Everything happens for a reason – once you learn from it you’ll be better the next time.

Thank you for reading and that was my week. I hope you had a good one and remember to follow your line – wherever it may take you.

Michelle xx

 

Dedicated to A.L, S.P, D.T, M.T, S.M, M.G, J.E and T.L – you have made this week one of a kind.

 

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